Of the Sissy at Domi and the Peacock of the UDC

05th February 2018
From me to you
Column

...

By Joe-Brown -


Dear Comrade Boko

Your Comradeship, I write to you with a deep sense of despair and disillusion regarding the roughening journey towards the Utopia you promised the downtrodden of this nation. I am aware you have a congested schedule of star rallies to plan and to attend, but these 5 minutes are all I ask for your priceless attention. You see Comrade, I grew up admiring everything that you are – your unique dress sense, your caustic wit, your orgasmic looks… I mean, everything, almost. The only thing I hated about you was my not understanding some of the things you communicated through this academic language I often found confoundedly obscure, tortuous, loquacious and aggravatingly verbose. Oops, pardon me if I begin to sound like you Comrade – this train of diterme is not my style. The thing is, I sometimes left the Student Union Hall having grasped very little of what you, my then SRC president, was saying. It never made sense to me why you spoke like that, leaving us all bewildered and bemused.

But I have to say, you are still a great man and my admiration of you actually grew stronger when you successfully managed to trudge through that rubble of BNF shenanigans strewn on the ground to frustrate you out of the party. More admiration was to follow when you further showed astute leadership through the turmoil that despite all else, eventually gave birth to The People’s Project. What a dream you and Ndaba had for the nation then! That euphoria you occasioned! Eish, tlhe monna I remember that big bus: Ha e duma ea dumalana. Indaba yami I’striaght. Surely a change of guard was nigh. What a pair you were! But now the despair!! Comrade, I know a lot has happened since, and I can continue looking back in nostalgia and you may not care. But truth be told, I am disillusioned now. So is my elder brother and my teachers, as well as my team mates and church mates across the country. I already see a case of ‘so near yet so far.’ Things are not the way they were Chamza, I just don’t feel the project the way I did then.

That united force is just gone… Tota you know what I’m talking about, so maybe let’s not dwell too much into it. All I want now is for you to do me just one favour, comrade – get back together with Ndaba. Pleeeeease. At whatever cost Comrade. I know you may have tried something to that effect but pulled back because of other influences, but please, take us back to those days that we so dearly miss now – the days of peaceful and insult-free opposition politics. I know some who claim to have more love for you are challenging Ndaba to rather reach out to you for negotiations into the UDC.

They ask why it has to be you cajoling Ndaba into the people’s project. But Comrade, Ndaba has no delusions of becoming Botswana president in 2019; he has no interest in state power for now. He is busy bizy beezee building his purple empire for the distant future - perhaps even for state power in 2024. He is surely looking beyond 2019. It is you comrade, who harbours the ambition and aspirations of residing at the State House in the next year or two. So, to make sure of this coveted state power, you need to rise above the inherent regressive pride in you and your lime running-mate, and call Ndaba and his people to the table. I tell you, once you have achieved this, you can be assured of state power in two years. Yeah... it’s a prospect worth the salivating comrade. In fact, it is a given that with Ndaba’s AP within, you will become the next state president after Masisi’s record one-year honeymoon at the helm. But - and it’s a big BUT - if you are going to go with the haughty pettiness and misguided arrogance of your keyboard and armchair advisors, as well as your pretentious executive lieutenants, you will go to the next election with sleepless nights. Kana you won’t be sure you will attain the coveted state power, and you will be strained through your campaigns both physically and financially. Yet your chill pill on this matter is only a Ndaba call away from you my president. Call him in.

I repeat: wooing and wowing the AP into your fold - and genuinely so - will ensure that over the next 18 months as you prepare for state power, you will do so with the confidence of the peacock that you are. Yes comrade, you have peacock tendencies - very assured, proud, showy, astute, colourful, handsome, extravagant and overly imposing. You see, you should stop entertaining the thoughts that with the lime brigade in your corner - if it’s genuinely so - you will just waltz into the OP Enclave with aplomb. Allowing the rift between you and AP - which from sustained observation seems to be celebrated and fanned by the newcomers into the people’s project - will only work in SisiBoy’s favour.

And make no mistake Comrade, SisiBoy is no sissy. You don’t play games with a self-proclaimed lelope that ends up attaining the ultimate position of power in the land. SisiBoy ga se wa bana - give him the attendant respect by acting smart yourself. Counter the man with everything at your disposal, the purple train included. Only then can you neutralise SisiBoy. You don’t want to be caught off-guard Comrade. The not-so-sissy boy is a master schemer who has since left a lot of self-proclaimed powerhouses of the ruling party in utter shock as they saw him easily sail past their rusting political vessels. And with the AP on the other side of your battle ground, you just never know what the celebrated schemer can do to ensure the rift works for him. Heela, I know that man. He is actually my cousin-in-law; my home boy in law - mo tlodise matlho at your own peril. He will humble you. Botsa madomi aa neng a ipeile sure ka molenza o sena serethe. He has this cunning political demeanour that always breeds results in his favour. Note that all his men won at the recent primaries. Many continue to wonder how. But that’s SisiBoy for you. You will not know what hit you my friend.

I so admire the man for many things; but more for his intelligence, tenacity, wit, political mastery and the mere fact that he even won the heart of my beautiful kin-lady where many had failed. The man always finds a way to get things his way: do not dare underestimate him. And the only way is the AP way. I tell you, once you have the self-proclaimed progressives in your pocket, mogwe wa ko gaetsho will make history as the man who served the shortest term as President in Africa by poll decision. Of course I know you to have too much pride; just like the peacock that you are - but ask Limeyboy; he is a living political embodiment of the adage: Pride comes before a fall.

Wasn’t it he who claimed and proclaimed potency to single-handedly wrestle the BDP out of power in 2014? He was so assured. So scornful. So full of himself and so over-confident of his capabilities, skills and all. We all know what happened. Now I see the resurfacing of this sense of security again. Word is that the legendary BNF need only its lime splinter group to wrestle power out of BDP. And once again, this crooked analysis is coming from Limeyboy’s disciples. But you see, among these disciples are Judases who are hell-bent on betraying you and The People’s Project. Mafega a bone after failing our dream in the recent past – nna tota I don’t trust them. Thus you must open your eyes and do the right thing - and that is to ignore the naysayers and cunning sponsors of an opposition rift; and give Ndaba a call. You each have to swallow your pride for the good of all of us. No need to remind you that in politics, numbers are your lifeblood. Make concessions Comrade. It’s a give and take.

And you will, my SRC president, be assured of state power come 2019. Ndaba le ene a lese go iphitlha ka the alleged thuggery of MMMP. He should be bigger than such petty politics. Of course being the konyana that he is, he was within reason to run far away from trouble – the trouble that is now coming your way. But with the progressives on your side, plus the suspect limey brigade, everything else will be peripheral. You will attain the ultimate. Wena just give your real running mate a call. In my next letter to you, I will reveal the things I heard them say about you last week. Good Luck my next president. And goodbye, for now.




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