January: The month for Johane 14 and machonisa

23rd January 2017
Social Beat


By Keletso Thobega -

Have you noticed that when you are broke, time just seems to slow down and a week feels like a month? January is generally the worst month for many people finances wise, to the extent that it is often referred to as ‘JanWorry.’ A lot of people are already suffering from a bad case of January blues. 

Most people got paid very early in December and that money is expected to last right through the next pay cheque at the end of January. The lucky ones enjoyed a 13th cheque, but even that rarely lasts because people tend to spend more during festive. By this time, almost everyone is “crying” about money. I can bet that even individuals who never even had money to begin with, will be going on and on about what a bad month January is. It is the same drill each year – lots of moaning, borrowing, lending and scraping by.

The financial challenges of January can be so bad that you might start imagining debts or jogging your memory to remind yourself who owes you. You might call people that you have not spoken to in ages and remind them of a debt from years ago, squabbling about how that was actually not a gift but a loan. When you eat a meal without relish like meat, you pretend that it is delicious. Sometimes you might convince yourself that you are a vegetarian. That is January for you, it will humble you! During the festive period there is a lot of travelling, feasting, shopping and many people spend more than they usually would. It is unnecessary fanfare but once in a while people have to spoil themselves. Besides, festive is the only time that people get to unwind and spend quality time with their loved ones.

Financial advisors often caution people against overspending, suggesting that they budget and save, but while solid planning is important, it is rare to stick to a budget to the tee, especially around the festive season. Naysayers insist that such holidays are merely a commercial plot to make people spend their hard earned cash but we should keep in mind that no one puts a gun to your head and forces you to spend; people spend on their own accord and come January, sad faces and dry lips are the norm. Financial indiscipline and poor planning are the culprits. Add to that the fact that money is never really enough. Businesses also put in all the effort in their advertising, with endless sales, competitions, giveaways and bargains, that influence you to spend, spend, spend, even on things that you do not really need.

By mid-month, many people will be dreaming about the stews and other niceties that they ate over the festive. They will also look at the stuff they bought and spent money on, and wonder if it was all worth it. I understand that the infamous Moreki is having the hardest time. For those of you who live under a rock, Moreki refers to an individual who has spending power. He is a well-off chap who drives top of the range cars like the Vrrrr Phaa (Golf 7 GTI), wears snazzy clothes and drinks expensive liquor.

This guy is never short of admirers and often splashes on drinks for friends and girlfriends. During festive, he was the point of attraction and bagged the prettiest Code 14 girls (chicks with huge derriere). But I understand that Moreki is now broke. Do not be too surprised if you see Moreki cutting a forlorn figure in the backseat of a combi. You might also spot Moreki munching on manyonyomane (fat cakes) and runaways (chicken feet) at lunchtime. Apparently Moreki is claiming to be on a diet, and is living on pap and Johane 14. His fridge only has an onion and bottle of water. Moreki also claims to have quit drinking alcohol because he can’t pay for pricey liquor.

Apparently Moreki has machonisa on speed dial and was recently spotted queueing at a loan shark. To add on to his distress, debtors are calling left, right and centre. January is going to feel like a whole year for him. It surely is a boring month for Moreki!

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