Of independent career women who boss men around

22nd November 2017


By Keletso Thobega -

A recent study conducted by Forbes indicates that women who are career-orientated and earn more (the so-called independent women) tend to have a difficult time finding suitable partners or settling down. Apparently these women often focus too much on studies and career, leaving little time for dating, or by the time they want a partner, they intimidate potential suitors. There are many successful women who have great careers and make good money, sometimes much more than their partners, but they remain humble and respectful in relationships. However, some men are actually intimated by women who have their own careers, dreams and/or money, and are intelligent/highly educated so forth, especially if he is not as established and successful.

Some men want to be “above” the women they date: economically and in terms of intelligence and success. That is why it is rare for an influential or successful man to marry a woman who is on the “same level” as them – they often go for younger and lesser-established women, and if she is a doormat, all the better because she won’t necessarily challenge him. Some men, I have also established, believe that a woman who is doing well for herself will attract too much attention or make him seem inferior. In some cases, they resent them and their success because they wish they were the ones who were as talented, rich, educated etc or whatever your definition of ‘success’.

For a lot of men, the so-called independent and successful women are good as conquests only. Yet, it is only a weak man who would be intimidated by a woman who is successful. Men who have a healthy self-esteem and are doing well for themselves would embrace a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and is living her best life because she probably won’t as for madi a melora anyways, like those other ones who look at men as ATMs. Whether we admit it or not, some men are still stuck on the archaic notion that women should be quiet dimwits who when you say jump, she says how high and have nothing going on expect changing nappies and cooking. And some I have heard, say that nowadays women are cheeky, and that women of the olden days were better because they “knew their place”. Bogologolo basadi ne ba sotlwa ba gatelelwa.

Nowadays women are more assertive and empowered. If she is not happy, she can express herself or leave the relationship! It is boggling how we point out to women’s cheekiness but rarely the insecurity and jealousy meted by some men, who perpetuate physical, emotional and psychological abuse. Some people maintain that money should not change people. But it does. Le nna hela fa nka tshwara madi hela sentle aa bonalang, dilo dingwe di a go chencha – go ja ga me, go tsamaya ga me, le go jola ke a go jola ko bo Phakalane le bo Mmokolodi.

But on a serious note, there are women who pull men by the nose when they have financial muscle particularly in a relationship. Setlhako go lela sa gagwe. Some men are subjected to abuse at home and are made to feel useless when they don’t make a lot of money. But it is not about gender but personality of the person. Some people are uncouth by nature. O kile wa bona motho yo tlala a goletse mo tlaleng a bo a simolola go tshwara madi? O tla fitlhela e ka re ke ene hela motho, a tlhorontsha a itira Tshekedi mo Bakalakeng. Batho ba bangwe ga ba tlhabologe sentle…Madi a ba tronka!

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